Ciaran’s Random Writings

I never did figure out who the previous imposter was on the much maligned Cuil search engine, but while pondering it I wondered why there wasn’t a search engine where I could upload an image and find where it came from.

Lo and behold, along comes TinEye to save the day. Unfortunately, when I went to grab the image, one imposter had been replaced by another as you can see from the screenshot on the right. But thanks to TinEye, I’m not left wondering who I am this time. I’m a character called Lucas, who seems to be from a soap opera I’ve thankfully never heard of called Another World.

I tried carefully cropping the image out of my previous screenshot, but that wasn’t good enough - perhaps TinEye just fingerprints the image’s binary data, while my version had been re-encoded a couple of times. On the other hand, I get the impression from the TinEye FAQ that it should be able to handle that. Maybe when I’m not as busy I’ll have another go. In the meantime the previous imposter is still on the loose, so answers on a postcard please if you recognise him.

So everybody is talking about Cuil, the latest Google-challenger on the block. From what I’ve seen, they have a lot of issues at this early stage (understandably) and they might come to regret getting so much publicity so early. But more important than all that, is this:

Disclaimer first, yes I know it’s terribly unfashionable to “google” yourself, but it’s always a good test of a search engine, and everybody does it whether they admit it or not. Now, back to the subject, who the hell is this in the picture?

And, for bonus points, by what insane algorithm did his picture come to be placed there?

As I noted previously, I have Merlin Mann to thank for my current level of inbox efficiency. To add to that, today he was responsible for a very hearty chuckle indeed, when I stumbled across this, which is ridiculous in so many ways I don’t even know where to start. From what I can gather, it isn’t meant to be funny.

In my previous post, I asked a stupid question and suggested some very stupid answers. Having researched it, two of my stupid answers were correct, but the real truth is far more ridiculous than anything I could have made up. So, why does my wheelie bin have an ‘89dB’ sticker on it?

(more…)

Would anyone care to offer an explanation for this sticker on the back of our wheelie bin? For those not versed in these things, 89dB is probably around about the loudness you would experience if you stood right next to a pneumatic drill.

I am thinking it must be either a) the noise it makes when you slam the lid, b) the noise it makes when you pull it along, or c) the loudest you can sing near it without shattering it.

Any better ideas? And what is L WA?

I don’t care what the European Patent Office think - as far as I’m concerned, Professor Zagyansky must be a genius on a hitherto unknown scale. Read here.

Anyway, a bit of research reveals that the good Professor (of what and where I’m not sure) has quite a history of this kind of thing, but trying to find out more about this hero of warped science reveals one of my favourite tricks that Google likes to play. If you search for “Yuly Zagyansky” (quotes included) it suggests that perhaps you meant to search for “Yuly Zagdansky”. Well, perhaps I did, you say, and click the helpful link. Haha, says Google, no results for “Yuly Zagdanksy”.

I was intending to write about the Alphabet Pal, but a quick Googling reveals that so many people have beaten me to it that I might as well just link to them instead:

• link one
• link two

Other than this amusing trait, it’s a highly irritating beast which I’m sure we’ll come to deeply regret purchasing. If Mia didn’t like it so much, I’d have accidentally stepped on it already.

Everything here is pointless, so to warrant the title the post must be about pointless things.

I passed my favourite pointless road sign today - it’s a massive white-on-blue motorway job, which reads “No services on M1″. It’s located about a minute (traffic permitting) before you reach the northern end of the M1!? If anyone can offer an explanation for that I’m all ears.

Not much further on, an even more gigantic sign reads “Wide hard shoulder for 2 miles”. It’s true, since you could easily park coaches side-on all the way along it, but do we need a warning? I can’t imagine why, but then I can’t explain the disturbing number of people that drive along it. The excessive width makes it look less like a lane, not more.

And then tonight, and this is what brought the subject to mind, I saw a real gem on the A59 near Knaresborough. This is one of those temporary yellow signs, like the ones that make sure that battered old Saabs and Volvos can find their way to stamp fairs and steam engine rallys. “For Wetherby, follow existing signs”. Uhuh. Hope nobody steals it, or there’ll be chaos. I suppose it could be a way of ending a diversion though.

Switching to shopping, I’ve long been amused by both Sainsburys and Morrisons who have evidently issued a directive that all customers must be asked “Do you want any help with your packing?” and also a straight face must be kept when they only have 3 items. Actually, thinking about it, the less items you have, the more likely it is that they’ll ask. What brought this to mind is that guy in the garage in Manchester today delivered, unsolicited, the same observation about Asda, while I tried to pay him for my petrol and some provisions for the motorway.